Rosalee J. Tithof
Palm Springs Branch
Some people say I have joined a club.
It is a membership I did not choose.
Life must go on…
Or so I have been told,
But now I am minus one.
At home, silence is deafening.
Music brings back memories.
Emptiness wraps its arms around me,
But provides no comfort.
My life is supposed to go on.
Family and friends call, text, invite.
I answer, I go. I am in a sea of kindness.
Yet, I can barely hold my head above water.
I feel so alone.
I am still minus one.
Everyone’s lives have continued,
Mine seems to have ended the day he died.
I breathe in and out, in and out.
I know I am alive,
But I have had to learn how to live again.
Life does go on, in a different way.
I can enjoy my grandchild’s laughter,
Sweet laughter that tickles my soul
And urges me back into the world.
My grands are my key to living.
I heal. I reach out.
“You must move on.” I have.
Though my sorrow lies just under the surface,
I am grateful the memories will never die.
And my minus one will always be in my heart.
Reading your work aloud (as all poetry should) brought resonance of content, appreciation of straightforwardness—especially the obdurate, unremitting silence—and acknowledgment that your words are still the case for me, after almost seventeen years. Fine work!
A dear friend called me yesterday to tell me that her husband, also a dear friend, had passed away the night before. I think that it may be too soon to share Rosalee’s poem with her, and my heart breaks, because she is now a member of this club,. I hope, when the time is right, she may find some comfort in knowing that she is not alone, and that life does indeed go on, and that there is joy to be found.
Thank you, Beth, for your comments. My condolences to you and your friend.
Rosalee, you gifted me with a copy of this poem in Palm Springs but reading it here again brought the same stream of tears. It is so simple, so short, so profound! It touches the soul of all who have to live now minus one, that special one!
Julie, my heart is with you. Gobble up those sweet memories to help you through this difficult time. He will always be in your heart.
I know exactly how you feel having lost my dear husband as well…Very well described. The loneliness is at times unbearable!
Thank you for your wonderful poem!
Your comments bring me so much joy. Thank you.
I am so glad my comments brought you joy. Blessings to you.
Such a lovely poem and so true
So politely said. By the poet. You are not alone.
Such a poignant poem, filled with deep emotion and honesty. “I know I am alive, but I have had to learn how to live again” really speaks to the heart. So many of our friends have dealt with this life-changing situation, and Rosalee has faced it head-on, keeping her memories and finding joy with her grandkids. It’s such a sensitive subject, and I thank her for the willingness to share these deep feelings.
Thank you for your kind words.
Dear Rosalee,
Your poem’s title is brilliant. The short lines and deep , sad thoughts with grief embedded in them are beautiful. I love the positive in your final several lines.
Thank you for choosing my poem. It is truly an honor.
Your poem will speak softly yet directly to so many Penwomen, Rosalee. It was my pleasure to select it for our blog.
This poem is so very precious and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your life, your pain, and your Hope with us.
Last summer my daughter suddenly lost the love of her life and she is making her way through the grieving process. Although I too have lost loved ones and had to process grief, your poem reminds us of the journey that has now for many of us become vague in our remembrance because life has once again become full and we are now left with the strength and joy our loved ones brought into our lives. Those memories never die.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This poem really says it. That empty feeling. That feeling that you are only half of yourself. I’ve been there and I hold you in my thoughts and prayers. You have done a wonderful job of stating this.